Humor
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Sailors' Knots (Entire Collection)Sailors' Knots (Entire Collection) She Piled Mr. Carter's Plate up So Generously That Her Father and Brother Had Ample Time at Their Disposal to Watch Him Eat. Sailormen ain't wot you might call dandyfied as a rule, said the night-watchman, who had just had...
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Keeping Up AppearancesKeeping Up Appearances - Sailor's Knots, Part 12. "Everybody is superstitious," said the night-watchman, as he gave utterance to a series of chirruping endearments to a black cat with one eye that had just been using a leg of his trousers as a serviette;...
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Double DealingDouble Dealing - Sailor's Knots, Part 11. Mr. Fred Carter stood on the spacious common, inhaling with all the joy of the holiday-making Londoner the salt smell of the sea below, and regarding with some interest the movements of a couple of men who...
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Prize MoneyPrize Money - Sailor's Knots, Part 10. The old man stood by the window, gazing at the frozen fields beyond. The sign of the Cauliflower was stiff with snow, and the breath of a pair of waiting horses in a wagon beneath ascended in...
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The Head of the FamilyThe Head of the Family - Sailor's Knots, Part 9. Mr. Letts had left his ship by mutual arrangement, and the whole of the crew had mustered to see him off and to express their sense of relief at his departure. After some years...
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Peter's PencePeter's Pence - Sailor's Knots, Part 8. Sailormen don't bother much about their relations, as a rule, said the night-watchman; sometimes because a railway-ticket costs as much as a barrel o' beer, and they ain't got the money for both, and sometimes because most...
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The Toll-HouseThe Toll-House - Sailor's Knots, Part 7. "It's all nonsense," said Jack Barnes. "Of course people have died in the house; people die in every house. As for the noiseswind in the chimney and rats in the wainscot are very convincing to a nervous...
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Odd Man OutOdd Man Out - Sailor's Knots, Part 6. The night watchman pursed up his lips and shook his head. Friendship, he said, decidedly, is a deloosion and a snare. I've 'ad more friendships in my life than most peopleowing to being took a fancy...
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Matrimonial OpeningsMatrimonial Openings - Sailor's Knots, Part 5. Mr. Dowson sat by the kitchen fire smoking and turning a docile and well- trained ear to the heated words which fell from his wife's lips. "She'll go and do the same as her sister Jenny done,"...
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Sentence DeferredSentence Deferred - Sailor's Knots, Part 4. Fortunately for Captain Bligh, there were but few people about, and the only person who saw him trip Police-Sergeant Pilbeam was an elderly man with a wooden leg, who joined the indignant officer in the pursuit. The...
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Self-HelpSelf-Help - Sailor's Knots, Part 3. The night-watchman sat brooding darkly over life and its troubles. A shooting corn on the little toe of his left foot, and a touch of liver, due, he was convinced, to the unlawful cellar work of the landlord...
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Homeward BoundHomeward Bound - Sailor's Knots, Part 2. Mr. Hatchard's conversation for nearly a week had been confined to fault- finding and grunts, a system of treatment designed to wean Mrs. Hatchard from her besetting sin of extravagance. On other occasions the treatment had, for...
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DesertedDeserted - Sailor's Knots, Part 1. "Sailormen ain't wot you might call dandyfied as a rule," said the night- watchman, who had just had a passage of arms with a lighterman and been advised to let somebody else wash him and make a good...
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Mike and PsmithMike and Psmith In Evelyn Waugh's book Decline and Fall his hero, applying for a post as a schoolmaster, is told by the agent, "We class schools in four gradesleading school, first-rate school, good school, and school." Sedleigh in Mike and Psmith would, I...
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Ship's Company, the Entire CollectionShip's Company, the Entire Collection Fine Feathers Friends in Need Good Intentions Fairy Gold Watch-Dogs The Bequest The Guardian Angel Dual Control Skilled Assistance For Better or Worse The Old Man of The Sea "Manners Makyth Man" "Can I 'ave it took off while...
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Manners Makyth ManManners Makyth Man - Ship's Company, Part 12.The night-watchman appeared to be out of sorts. His movements were even slower than usual, and, when he sat, the soap-box seemed to be unable to give satisfaction. His face bore an expression of deep melancholy, but...
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The Old Man of the SeaThe Old Man of the Sea - Ship's Company, Part 11."What I want you to do," said Mr George Wright, "is to be an uncle to me" "It'll do to go on with," he said "'Ow much did you say you'd got in the...
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For Better or WorseFor Better or Worse - Ship's Company, Part 10.His friend complied "You tell 'er that there's two gentlemen here what have brought her news" "Don't you know me, Mary?" "If I take you back again," repeated his wife, "are you going to behave?" Mr....
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Skilled AssistanceSkilled Assistance - Ship's Company, Part 9."If she's been up 'ere once in the last week to, know whether the Silvia is up she's been four or five times," he growled. "He's forty- seven if he's a day; 'is left leg is shorter than...
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Dual ControlDual Control - Ship's Company, Part 8."Never say 'die,' Bert," said Mr. Culpepper, kindly; "I like you, and so do most other people who know what's good for 'em; and if Florrie don't like you she can keep single till she does." Mr. Culpepper...
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