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"A great book to read at bedtime. Even to kids." - Lenore Skenazy, America's Worst Mom
"This demonic book must be put to the flames of a thousand teeny candles, preferably with sparkles." - Bret Stephens, noted cancel culture opponent.
"Calm down? Anathema Getting hysterical during this pandemic is our only entertainment." - Lionel Shriver, noted opponent of practically everything.
"This book is good for your soul - even if you don't have one." - Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay, atheists
"Finally A funny book about COVID But the truth is, it's about a lot more than that. 'Calm the F**k Down' is good advice for a lot of what ails us, both culturally and politically. It's the perfect gift for the person in your life who seems to be freaking out about everything. Especially if that person is you." - Rob Long, Emmy-nominated screenwriter
"I used to work out, eat well and meditate to feel calmer during the pandemic, but who's got the time when we don't even know what day of the week it is? Now, I just read this book once daily before bed and I sleep like a baby... who wakes up in the middle of the night screaming and crying. Calm the F**k down is like a warm glass of milk before bed when you're lactose intolerant." - Melanie Notkin, best-selling author
"The pandemic starts and you decide it's time to finally get through War and Peace, The Power Broker or Proust with a dose each night before bed. Notice that this is somehow NOT quite what the doctor ordered as a tonic for lousy times? This book actually is. Save 100 Years of Solitude for weekend afternoons and use Calm the F**k Down to get through the week itself." - John McWhorter, Contributing Editor at the Atlantic and host of Slate's Lexicon Valley
"I love this book. When everything feels to be falling apart, out of control, it's a great reminder that laughter is what holds us together as individuals and as a community." - Lynn Goldsmith, award-winning artist
In our politically polarized era, at least we can all agree that Covid sucks. This politically incorrect bedtime book is for everyone living in the time of Covid. Absolutely profane and funny, it embraces the familiar and paranoid woes of making it through a day so you're able to go to bed for the night. Fall-on-the-floor funny (from a safe social distance), this book is a great gift for adults of all ages to help them take a deep breath of fresh (Covid-free) air, share a huge belly laugh, or get a good night's sleep.
You may return most new, unopened items within 30 days of delivery for a full refund. We'll also pay the return shipping costs if the return is a result of our error (you received an incorrect or defective item, etc.).
You should expect to receive your refund within four weeks of giving your package to the return shipper, however, in many cases you will receive a refund more quickly. This time period includes the transit time for us to receive your return from the shipper (5 to 10 business days), the time it takes us to process your return once we receive it (3 to 5 business days), and the time it takes your bank to process our refund request (5 to 10 business days).
If you need to return an item, simply login to your account, view the order using the "Complete Orders" link under the My Account menu and click the Return Item(s) button. We'll notify you via e-mail of your refund once we've received and processed the returned item.
We can ship to virtually any address in the world. Note that there are restrictions on some products, and some products cannot be shipped to international destinations.
When you place an order, we will estimate shipping and delivery dates for you based on the availability of your items and the shipping options you choose. Depending on the shipping provider you choose, shipping date estimates may appear on the shipping quotes page.
Please also note that the shipping rates for many items we sell are weight-based. The weight of any such item can be found on its detail page. To reflect the policies of the shipping companies we use, all weights will be rounded up to the next full pound.
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