It All Felt Impossible: 42 Years in 42 Essays

In this meditative and lyrical collection, Tom McAllister challenges himself to write a short essay for every year he's been alive. With each piece strictly limited to a maximum of 1,500 words, these 42 essays move fluidly through time, taking poetic leaps and ending up in places the reader does not expect. Funny, insightful, and open-hearted, It All Felt Impossible aims to tell the story of McAllister's life through brief glimpses, anecdotes, and fragments that radiate outward and grapple with his place in the culture at large. In the span of these essays, McAllister witnesses a monorail crash at a zoo, survives a tornado, plays youth sports for tyrannical coaches, grieves for dead parents, learns how to ride a bike as an adult, works long shifts making cheesesteaks, and more. Each annual offering is a search for meaning and connection, chronicled by an engaging and honest voice. A testament to the power of creative constraints and finding innovative ways to tell one's story, It All Felt Impossible: 42 Years in 42 Essays is a compelling document of an idiosyncratic human existence that volleys so skillfully between the mundane and the profound that readers will find themselves marveling at these essays long after they have read them.

Tom McAllister is the author of the novel How to Be Safe, which was named one of the best books of 2018 by Kirkus and The Washington Post. His other books are the novel The Young Widower's Handbook and the memoir Bury Me in My Jersey. His short stories and essays have been published in The Sun, Best American Nonrequired Reading, Black Warrior Review, and many other places. He is the nonfiction editor at Barrelhouse and co-hosts the Book Fight! podcast with Mike Ingram. He lives in New Jersey and teaches in the MFA Program at Rutgers-Camden.