So Gay for You: Friendship, Found Family, and the Show That Started It All

*AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER*

An intimate, hilarious memoir of art, friendship, queerness, and found family by Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey, stars of The L Word--including never-before-shared stories and photos from behind the scenes of the show and their personal lives.

"Are you comfortable with nudity?" my manager asked.

In the early 2000s, Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey--both young artists trying to figure it all out--met at auditions for an unknown little TV show. Given that it was a show about lesbians living in Los Angeles, with the first ever ensemble cast of openly queer female characters, Kate and Leisha knew the project was going to be unlike anything else out there--that is, if it even got picked up.

Then, one million people watched the premiere. The show, which came to be called The L Word, turned into a trailblazing phenomenon. Its influence on pop culture, in the political arena, and in the lives of viewers has been lasting, impactful, even life-saving. And in addition to changing the course of television history, The L Word changed Kate and Leisha's lives forever. Suddenly, they were the faces of lesbian culture in a society still hostile to queerness. And one of them wasn't even out yet.

Luckily, they had each other. From their first day on set, Kate and Leisha were so inseparable that the cast joked they were like a pair of pants--you couldn't have one leg without the other. Hence the name for their branded partnership and podcast, PANTS, launched in 2020 and downloaded over twenty million times.

This friendship has seen Kate and Leisha through their greatest triumphs and most painful moments, stumbling from closeted queer kids to LGBTQ+ activists, actors, podcasters, and business owners. Full of never-before-shared glimpses into the making of The L Word, Kate and Leisha's real-life loves and losses, and their experiences as queer icons, So Gay for You is a heartfelt, inspiring love letter to a ride or die friendship over the decades, and a testament to the liberating power of chosen family.

Author: Kate Moennig,Leisha Hailey
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Published: 06/03/2025
Pages: 272
Binding Type: Hardcover
Weight: 1.14lbs
Size: 9.43h x 6.57w x 0.81d
ISBN: 9781250361363


Review Citation(s):
Library Journal 05/01/2025 pg. 9
Kirkus Reviews 06/15/2025

About the Author

LEISHA HAILEY is an actor, director, executive producer, musician, and podcaster. Hailey is best known for her beloved breakout character Alice Pieszecki in the revolutionary Showtime series The L Word and the reboot, The L Word: Generation Q. Before making her mark on-screen, Hailey cofounded the band The Murmurs in the 1990s, recording three albums for MCA/Universal Records and touring worldwide, including with Lilith Fair. More than a decade later, in 2007, Hailey cofounded the indie pop band Uh Huh Her, which toured internationally and sold albums worldwide.

KATE MOENNIG is a critically acclaimed actor and executive producer whose work spans film, television, and theater. She is most known for her iconic role as Shane McCutcheon in the Showtime series The L Word and the reboot, The L Word: Generation Q. Moennig has also starred in Showtime's hit series Ray Donovan, Freeform's Grown-ish, and Liz Feldman's series No Good Deed. Moennig's film credits include The Lincoln Lawyer, Lane 1974, and Terry Zwigoff's Art School Confidential.