Best of Banana Slicer Reviews

A silly kitchen tool designed to slice bananas OR the latest product to be lampooned by fake Amazon reviews? Perhaps it's a bit from both column A & B. The Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer has been compared to the Honey Badger and Charlie Sheen, which I think is enough to justify its mere existence. Folks from every corner of the interwebs have collectively authored what's undeniably the most epic collection of tongue-in-cheek product reviews found anywhere on this planet. These satirical testimonials submitted by users on the online shopping site Amazon for the questionably unnecessary kitchen gadget product Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer are guaranteed* to make you laugh time and again. The only problem was that it was timely to sift through all of the legitimate reviews and less-than-humorous ones in order to get to the gems. And it was even more difficult to print them out to show or gift them to other people ... until now. Please enjoy this collection of Amazon user reviews (whose names will be omitted to protect their privacy), which have been collected, edited, re-formatted and designed into this series of books. Enjoy *That is a lie, I guarantee nothing.

Author: Matthew Lutz
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
Published: 07/11/2016
Pages: 48
Binding Type: Paperback
Weight: 0.17lbs
Size: 9.02h x 5.98w x 0.10d
ISBN: 9781534814233

About the Author
Señor Mateo El Valiente is an award-winning man, lover, and highly decorated Origami Master (we're talking full contact origami; none of that fold and admire nonsense). He's a humble genius who has graced the pages of The Guinness Book of World Records for speaking in Haiku for 364 straight days; it would have been 365 days, but the judges mistook the word of his final poem, "leave" as a direct command, and obeyed. He can bake 30-minute brownies in 23 minutes flat if he has to, but prefers not to. He is a connoisseur of middle-shelf bourbons. Collector of authentic reproduction Volkswagen print advertisements from the 50's and 60's; when advertising "had real avocados", as Lütz so eloquently puts it. He's affiliated with over 87 secret societies; some of them, like the Sons of Motown, will kill you and all of your descendants just for printing their name. He lives with his much-taller wife, their 3 prodigy children, his perfectly-trained chihuahua, and his wife's rescue dog of unknown decent (Egyptian Foulmouth?), who is the absolute worst. When he's not breeding prize-winning sea monkeys, he can often be found admiring the classiest collection of sandglass art the world has ever known, which he also just so happens to own. He is currently crafting the highly anticipated Part Dos in this series of books, and his somewhat less anticipated fourth child.


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