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Clanford, Illinois, is a tiny Midwest enclave with the second-highest net worth zip code in the country. Emma Mayfield is a thirty-something mom trying to keep her family and sanity together after a string of financial faux pas ahead of the unexpected COVID lockdown. When the town mayor announces the grand re-opening of Clanford, the high society set is in panic mode over their unexpected lockdown weight gain ahead of the exclusive Butternut Country Club's grandest social event of the season.
Enter the story's protagonist, Emma, along with her husband Craig and a totally unexpected co-conspirator, who introduces a quick weight loss scheme. The power-packed prescript's immediate and massive results turn the high society crowd into genteel versions of crackheads, willing to do just about anything for their next "fix."
All hell breaks loose when the unexpected physical side effects of P.D.P. (Public Displays of Pleasure) rocks the sensibilities of this conservative burg. Emma and the team scramble to take control of the situation to keep their clients safe, and their money train on track. The rapid-paced, hilarious unfolding of events may subject the reader to U.P.D.L. (Uncontrollable Public Displays of Laughter).
READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED (BUT CLEARLY NOT RECOMMENDED)
You may return most new, unopened items within 30 days of delivery for a full refund. We'll also pay the return shipping costs if the return is a result of our error (you received an incorrect or defective item, etc.).
You should expect to receive your refund within four weeks of giving your package to the return shipper, however, in many cases you will receive a refund more quickly. This time period includes the transit time for us to receive your return from the shipper (5 to 10 business days), the time it takes us to process your return once we receive it (3 to 5 business days), and the time it takes your bank to process our refund request (5 to 10 business days).
If you need to return an item, simply login to your account, view the order using the "Complete Orders" link under the My Account menu and click the Return Item(s) button. We'll notify you via e-mail of your refund once we've received and processed the returned item.
We can ship to virtually any address in the world. Note that there are restrictions on some products, and some products cannot be shipped to international destinations.
When you place an order, we will estimate shipping and delivery dates for you based on the availability of your items and the shipping options you choose. Depending on the shipping provider you choose, shipping date estimates may appear on the shipping quotes page.
Please also note that the shipping rates for many items we sell are weight-based. The weight of any such item can be found on its detail page. To reflect the policies of the shipping companies we use, all weights will be rounded up to the next full pound.
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