Transforming the Shame Triangle: From Shame to Love Using Parts Work

Trauma, attachment wounds and external criticism can leave us battling a sense of shame and inadequacy that can keep us from thriving personally and in relationships. In Transforming the Shame Triangle, integrative therapist Jessica Fern and restorative justice facilitator David Cooley use a synthesis of Internal Family Systems and Narrative Process to identify the three parts that they see as the greatest barriers to achieving the life we want.

The Inner Critic, Shame and the Escaper are players in an internalized drama triangle, acting as perpetrator, victim and rescuer. Together, they create the Shame Triangle, which can trap us in ineffective survival strategies that prevent us from embracing and expressing our true selves.

Through practical exercises and accessible explanations, readers are guided to shift from a state of self-critique to one of self-support--transforming the Shame Triangle to a love triangle. Using parts work, Fern and Cooley open a path to healing and transformation, building a foundation of authenticity and integrity in self and connections, and ultimately creating a more fulfilling life.

Jessica Fern is a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional and an integrative practitioner with decades of experience and training in somatic, narrative, psychotherapeutic and spiritual therapies. She is the author of Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Nonmonogamy and The Polysecure Workbook, and co-author of Polywise: A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships and Transforming the Shame Triangle: From Shame to Love Using Parts Work.

David Cooley is a professional restorative justice facilitator, diversity and privilege awareness trainer and bilingual cultural broker. With Jessica Fern, he is the co-author of Polywise: A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships and Transforming the Shame Triangle: From Shame to Love Using Parts Work. He is the creator of the Restorative Relationships Conversations model, a process that transforms interpersonal conflict into deeper connection, intimacy and repair.