Humor
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Bedridden and the Winter OffensiveBedridden and the Winter Offensive - Deep Waters, Part 8. July 12, 1915.Disquieting rumours to the effect that epidemic of Billetitis hitherto confined to the north of King's Road shows signs of spreading. July 16.Informed that soldier of agreeable appearance and charming manners requests...
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Family CaresFamily Cares - Deep Waters, Part 7. Mr. Jernshaw, who was taking the opportunity of a lull in business to weigh out pound packets of sugar, knocked his hands together and stood waiting for the order of the tall bronzed man who had just...
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HusbandryHusbandry - Deep Waters, Part 6. Dealing with a man, said the night-watchman, thoughtfully, is as easy as a teetotaller walking along a nice wide pavement; dealing with a woman is like the same teetotaller, arter four or five whiskies, trying to get up...
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The ConvertThe Convert - Deep Waters, Part 5. Mr. Purnip took the arm of the new recruit and hung over him almost tenderly as they walked along; Mr. Billing, with a look of conscious virtue on his jolly face, listened with much satisfaction to his...
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Sam's GhostSam's Ghost - Deep Waters, Part 4. Yes, I know, said the night-watchman, thoughtfully, as he sat with a cold pipe in his mouth gazing across the river. I've 'eard it afore. People tell me they don't believe in ghosts and make a laugh...
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Made to MeasureMade to Measure - Deep Waters, Part 3. Mr. Mott brought his niece home from the station with considerable pride. Although he had received a photograph to assist identification, he had been very dubious about accosting the pretty, well-dressed girl who had stepped from...
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Paying OffPaying Off - Deep Waters, Part 2. My biggest fault, said the night-watchman, gloomily, has been good nature. I've spent the best part of my life trying to do my fellow- creeturs a good turn. And what do I get for it? If all...
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ShareholdersShareholders - Deep Waters, Part 1. Sailor mansaid the night-watchman, musinglya sailorman is like a fish he is safest when 'e is at sea. When a fish comes ashore it is in for trouble, and so is sailorman. One poor chap I knew 'ardly...
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Captains All and OthersCaptains All and Others Every sailorman grumbles about the sea, said the night-watchman, thoughtfully. It's human nature to grumble, and I s'pose they keep on grumbling and sticking to it because there ain't much else they can do. There's not many shore-going berths that...
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The White CatThe White Cat - Captains All, Book 10. The traveller stood looking from the tap-room window of the Cauliflower at the falling rain. The village street below was empty, and everything was quiet with the exception of the garrulous old man smoking with much...
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The Madness of Mr. ListerThe Madness of Mr. Lister - Captains All, Book 9. Old Jem Lister, of the Susannah, was possessed of two devilsthe love of strong drink and avariceand the only thing the twain had in common was to get a drink without paying for it....
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The Temptation of Samuel BurgeThe Temptation of Samuel Burge - Captains All, Book 8. Mr. Higgs, jeweller, sat in the small parlour behind his shop, gazing hungrily at a supper-table which had been laid some time before. It was a quarter to ten by the small town clock...
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Four PigeonsFour Pigeons - Captains All, Book 7. The old man took up his mug and shifted along the bench until he was in the shade of the elms that stood before the Cauliflower. The action also had the advantage of bringing him opposite the...
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Over the SideOver the Side - Captains All, Book 6. Of all classes of men, those who follow the sea are probably the most prone to superstition. Afloat upon the black waste of waters, at the mercy of wind and sea, with vast depths and strange...
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Bob's RedemptionBob's Redemption - Captains All, Book 5. "GRATITOODE!" said the night-watchman, with a hard laugh. "Hmf! Don't talk to me about gratitoode; I've seen too much of it. If people wot I've helped in my time 'ad only done arf their dootyarf, mind youI...
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The Constable's MoveThe Constable's Move - Captains All, Book 4. Mr. Bob Grummit sat in the kitchen with his corduroy-clad legs stretched on the fender. His wife's half-eaten dinner was getting cold on the table; Mr. Grummit, who was badly in need of cheering up, emptied...
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The Nest EggThe Nest Egg - Captains All, Book 3. "Artfulness," said the night-watch-man, smoking placidly, "is a gift; but it don't pay always. I've met some artful ones in my timeplenty of 'em; but I can't truthfully say as 'ow any of them was the...
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The Boatswain's MateThe Boatswain's Mate - Captains All, Book 2. Mr. George Benn, retired boat-swain, sighed noisily, and with a despondent gesture, turned to the door and stood with the handle in his hand; Mrs. Waters, sitting behind the tiny bar in a tall Windsor-chair, eyed...
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Captains AllCaptains All - Captains All, Part 1. Every sailorman grumbles about the sea, said the night-watchman, thoughtfully. It's human nature to grumble, and I s'pose they keep on grumbling and sticking to it because there ain't much else they can do. There's not many...
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The Girl at CobhurstThe Girl at Cobhurst 1898 It was about the middle of a March afternoon when Dr. Tolbridge, giving his horse and buggy into the charge of his stable boy, entered the warm hall of his house. His wife was delighted to see him; he...
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