This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

"A celebration of the healing power of family and dance, Holker's memoir shows how to heal from tragedy without wrapping everything up in a neat bow." - Library Journal

In this candid and emotional memoir, Allison Holker opens up about her incredible dance career, her relationship with Stephen "tWitch" Boss, and the resilience that has carried her forward after his death.

Allison Holker was just eighteen when she found fame as a contestant on the reality TV show So You Think You Can Dance. Over the next several years, she had her first child, built a successful career as a professional dancer despite the industry being hostile to working moms, and fell in love with and married fellow dancer Stephen Boss, the former hype man and DJ of The Ellen DeGeneres Show known for his charisma and relentless positivity. Two more children and a wealth of professional opportunities for both Allison and Stephen followed, and the Bosses appeared to be one of the great Hollywood love stories.

Then, in December 2022, Stephen took his own life, leaving Allison to wrestle with unanswered questions, haunting what-ifs, and the heartbreaking realization that Stephen's infectious joy was hiding pain, addictions, and self-doubt deeper than anyone knew.

For the first time, Allison reveals how she has navigated the emotional and financial aftermath of Stephen's choice, guided their three children in their grief while managing the outpouring from a well-meaning public, and reopened herself to the next chapter in her professional and personal life. A beacon of hope and comfort for anyone experiencing grief--especially unexpected loss due to suicide--Allison's story is an honest reflection on the pain of looking back on a complicated life and the resilience required to move into the future.

Allison Holker first burst onto the scene when she competed in Season 2 of So You Think You Can Dance. Her skill and popularity led her to return as an All-Star on the show in Season 7, where she met fellow dancer Stephen "tWitch" Boss, whom she married in December of 2013.

An Emmy-nominated choreographer and on-air personality, Allison was last seen as a judge on So You Think You Can Dance and was featured as a professional dancer on Dancing with the Stars. She appeared in the first two seasons of VHl's scripted series Hit the Floor and performed in A Chance to Dance, Make Your Move, and High School Musical. She has served as cohost of Disney's Fairy Tale Weddings, E!'s The Funny Dance Show, her own digital series Dance Like a Boss, alongside tWitch, which aired on EllenTube, and host of HGTV's most popular competition series, Design Star: Next Gen where talented designers, renovators, and social media brand-builders compete in intense weekly challenges.

Allison is also the author of a children's book, Keep Dancing Through; an ambassador for NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness; and the founder of the Move with Kindness Foundation.

Allison is a devoted mother to her three children, Weslie, Maddox, and Zaia.