All My Dead Cats and Other Losses: Practicing Good Grief in a Culture That Fears Mourning

"Both a grief book that doesn't read like a clinician's notes and a memoir wrapped around a bigger subject, All My Dead Cats takes grief from the taboo to the universal." -- Booklist

Have you suffered a loss? How was your life changed by the grief you experienced? Mourning is a personal experience and shouldn't be judged. There are no do-overs in death, but there are do-betters.

All My Dead Cats is not a book about pet loss. You will meet award-winning journalist and debut author s.e. smith's cats and read small slices of their stories. Their vignettes serve as an opening to scary conversations about loss, so grief can feel less intimidating and more relatable.

This is a book about grief and mourning as collective activities best undertaken in community. S.e. interviews dozens of experts--from death doulas to funeral home directors to therapists and psychologists--and discusses the different stages of grief. The shared perspectives help us understand that grief is not fixable but it can be livable. They teach us that if we have the courage, which begins with honest conversations about how we navigate grief, then we can learn how to do better.

After reading you'll better understand:

• Disenfranchised grief and how you can be part of the solution and not the problem
• How to be an advocate for people subjected to trauma and violence
• The stages of grief and how to process your experiences

Grief is not over once the body is neatly disposed of, the rubble of the house has been taken away in dumpsters, the final fit on the prosthesis is done, the law is passed and withstands legal challenges, or when the permanent peace is brokered. It is an ongoing shift in our relationship to the world, and one that deserves attention and care as well as time and space to be amongst fellow mourners, to whom we do not need to justify or explain, because they understand where we are.

Readers will feel seen rather than being chastised for how they grieve and better understand how to process mourning--and how to help others. All My Dead Cats provides an entry point, by beginning the conversation about a beloved pet, so readers can think about the larger stakes of death and live a more fulfilled life.

s.e. smith is a National Magazine Award-winning journalist and cultural critic whose work has appeared in Esquire, The Guardian, Rolling Stone, Bitch Magazine, and numerous other publications in addition to anthologies such as Body Language and Disability Intimacy. Smith is also a cofounder of The Flytrap, a worker-owned feminist media collective.