Nuts to crack or Quips, quirks, anecdote and facete of Oxford and Cambridge Scholars

Nuts to crack; or Quips, quirks, anecdote and facete of Oxford and Cambridge Scholars

Though I intend this preface, prelude, or proem shall occupy but a single page, and be a facile specimen of the multum in parvo school, I find I have so little to say, I might spare myself the trouble of saying that little, only it might look a little odd (excuse my nibbing my pen) if, after writing a book, which by the way, may prove no book at all, I should introduce it to my readers,did I say Readers?what a theme to dilate upon! But stop, stop, Mr. Exultation, nobody may read your book, ergo, you will have no readers. Humph! I must nib my pen again. Cooks, grocers, butchers, kitchenmaids, the roast! Let brighter visions rise: methink I see it grace every room Peckwater round: methink I see, wherever mighty Tom sonorous peals forth his solemn Come, come, come! the sons of Oxon fly to Tallboys store, or Parkers shelves, and cry the Book, the Book! Methink I see in Grantas streets a crowd for Deightons and for Stevensonsanon, [Pg vi] the Book, the Book, they cry Give us the Book! Quips, Quirks, and Anecdotes? Aye, thats the Book! And, then, methink I see on Camus side, or where the Isis by her Christ Church glides, or Charwells lowlier stream, methink I see (as did the Spanish Prince of yore a son of Salamanca beat his brow) some togaed son of Alma Mater beat, aye, laugh and beat his brow. And then, like Philip, I demand the cause? And then he laughs outright, and in my face he thrusts a book, and cries, Sir, read, read, read, ha, ha, ha, ha! and stamps and laughs the while;and then, ye gods, it proves to be the Book,Quips, Quirks, and Anecdotesha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I cry you mercy, Sirs, read, read, read, read! From Eton, Harrow, Winchester, and West, come orders thick as Autumn leaves eer fell, as larks at Dunstable, or Egypts plagues. The Row is in commotion,all the world rushes by Amen Corner, or St. Pauls: how like a summer-hive they go and come: the very Chapters caught the stirring theme, and, like King James at Christ Church, scents a hum.[1] Een Caxtons ghost stalks forth to beg a tome, [Pg vii] and Wynkyns shroud in vain protests his claims. Theres not a copy left, cries Whitts or Longs, as Caxton bolts with the extremest tome, and Wynkyn, foiled, shrinks grimly into air, Veild in a cloud of scarce black-letter lore. Had Galens self, sirs, ab origine, or sculapius, or the modern school of Pharmacopians drugged their patients thus, they long ago, aye, long ago, had starved; your undertakers had been gone extinct, and churchyards turned to gambol-greens, forsooth. Mirth, like good wine, no help from physic needs:blue devils and ennui! ha, ha, ha, ha! Didst ever taste champagne? Then laugh, sirs, laugh,laugh and grow fat, the maxims old and good: the stars sang at their birthHa, ha, ha, ha! I cry you mercy, sirs, the Book, the Book, Quips, Quirks, and Anecdotes. Oxonians hear! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Let Granta, too, respond. What would you more? the Book, sirs, read, read, read. ......Buy Now (To Read More)

Product details

Ebook Number: 42247
Author: Gooch, Richard
Release Date: Mar 4, 2013
Format: eBook
Language: English