The History We Carry: A Daughter's Memoir

For fans of Jennette McCurdy's I'm Glad My Mom Died, a memoir for daughters who recognize that to truly understand themselves and the patterns of their lives, they must first understand their mothers and the forces that shaped these women.

When Margaret Whitford's mother was dying, she told those present that her daughter "had her history." This was true; Margaret had conducted interviews with her mother during the last decade of her life. But this didn't end their estrangement, and Margaret chose not to return to her mother's side during her final days.

In this memoir, Margaret confronts this decision by unearthing in her mother's traumatic history the roots of the emotional distance between them. She explores how a history marked by the devastation of World War II in Europe, a violent childhood home, and sexual assault accumulated into complex PTSD that shaped her mother and the way she parented Margaret as her firstborn and as a daughter--and, in turn, how Margaret carried her mother's trauma forward in her sense of self, in her relationships to others, and in the ways she navigated her world. Indeed, Margaret not only had her mother's history--she embodied it.

Ultimately, The History We Carry confronts the legacy of intergenerational trauma with wisdom and compassion, revealing how familial history shapes each of us but need not be wholly determinative of whom we become and how we choose to live.

Author: Margaret Whitford
Publisher: She Writes Press
Published: 06/02/2026
Pages: 248
Binding Type: Paperback
Weight: 0.97lbs
Size: 8.44h x 5.44w x 0.80d
ISBN: 9798896363224


Review Citation(s):
Kirkus Reviews 06/01/2026

About the Author
Margaret Whitford served in leadership positions within the nonprofit world for twenty years, including ten years in the social justice field, before turning to writing. She is fascinated by the ways in which we all seek to create places of refuge for ourselves, both in a metaphorical and a physical sense. The History We Carry is her first memoir. An avid Francophile, Margaret, with her husband, divides her time between a small village in the South of France and her home in Concord, Massachusetts.